Decision Making Fatigue
This season has been quite the whirlwind (for the whole world really). Between local and national turmoil, a global pandemic, economic crisis and all of the changes to your personal & individual life - it’s a lot. All of the unexpected change and chaos has brought a wave of decisions to be made. Decisions for yourself, your family, your home and your community. While staying informed is an important thing, we can so easily find ourselves overwhelmed and paralyzed by the myriad of voices telling us what is “right” and “wrong” and “crucial” and “urgent” and the list goes on and on. It can leave us swirling in a frenzy of doubt with more questions than answers. This brings about a decision making fatigue that can make it hard to move forward in any direction. Some decisions are ones that we have the privilege to make, these are more preference oriented that we can choose to make and they have less weighty implications on our lives or the world around us. Other decisions are forced upon us as a result of circumstance, timing, loss or a hard reality outside of our control.
Our hope today is to remind you of the tools you already have to make decisions. We want to encourage you to move towards simplicity instead of complexity. This isn’t always easy (especially when the decisions we’re facing have such great implications), but we’re going to humbly attempt to come alongside and empower you to reclaim some inner space and confidence to lighten the load of decision fatigue.
These are not the only ways to make decisions, but they are a few helpful ideas that might be useful to try…
Quiet the noise.
Social media, podcasts, morning news, nightly news, emails, magazines, and the one zillion notifications your phone so generously provides….. we are constantly inundated with information. Some voices are trying to sell, some are trying to persuade, some are trying to help, some are trying to distort - how can we sort through it all. What if you muted your notifications for an hour in the morning? What if you left your phone at home during a walk? What if you listened to instrumental music instead of daily news? We’re not suggesting that this is possible on a sustained long term basis but for an hour, or a day - this could create some much needed space in your mind & heart to remember your own thoughts and ideas.
Be still.
As soon as the alarm clock goes off, many of us immediately feel the urge to begin going through our task list and agenda for the day. Sometimes this is necessary, due to the demands of your unique situation. However, when it’s possible- there is so much value in getting completely physically still. It’s like ripples on the surface of water - it takes a little time for the water to get calm, but once it does, you can see clearly again. Maybe practicing stillness can bring some clarity to our scattered minds and hearts. Stillness is a great posture for prayer, contemplative thinking, reflecting, meditating or being mindful.
Shut the shame down.
I wonder how much mental energy we spend wondering what will happen “if” we make the “wrong” decision. We can be so plagued by the imaginary doom of getting it all wrong. Spoiler alert- you’re doing better than you think you are. Often times, no one is going to be as hard on you as you are on yourself. Adjust the measuring stick of perfection you’re holding to yourself and allow room for mistakes, learning, growing and unlearning. We are all doing the best we can (apply that kindly to yourself). It’s also okay to say “I don’t know yet” and to give yourself a little more time and space to come to your decision. Sometimes things aren’t as “urgent” as we imagine them to be.
Listen to the clues your body gives you.
It’s a wonderfully complex and confusing thing - this human body we live in. It’s miraculous and also limited. The feelings of anxiety, uneasiness and discomfort can all be re-framed as helpful tools to guide us. If we’re willing to bravely look at our fears, questions and doubts- they might have something to teach us. Feeling uneasy or unsure is not the end of the road—It’s the beginning to really understanding our own desires and wirings. Our bodies can be wonderful companions to carry us through the decision making journey if we learn to honor and listen to them. Sometimes when we are out of alignment, a trusted professional can be a great resource in learning to understand the co-working of our bodies and minds and other complexities at play. The bottom line is— your body is not your enemy.
Gather your team.
There are people in your life that can offer valuable insight and wisdom into the stuff your facing. Often times they can see opportunities that you may have missed. They may have walked a similar path and previously faced decisions you’re processing now. They can call out your strengths when you forget. They can remind you what’s most important to you. They can ask good questions. They can call out the lies and traps that you feel stuck in. A few trusted friends or loved ones can be immensely grounding as we face all kinds of decisions (like a potential career change, what color to paint our walls, where to send our kids to school, or where to live). Although she may not be a personal friend to you, Emily P Freeman has a great podcast called The Next Right Thing where she offers lovely insight and reflection on making decisions.
Remember, you are not stuck.
Every time you’ve felt stuck before, you’ve moved through it. Isn’t that relieving to remember? Not to say that it’s all easy & smooth, but remembering where you have come from and what you have moved through can be especially freeing in the face of a decision that feels all consuming. Kendra from The Lazy Genius just released a podcast episode to this end- “A Pep Talk for Being Stuck”. We are adaptive. We learn & grow. We can change our minds. We can say sorry & we can try again. We can ask for help. We can admit failure & fault. We can listen. We can forgive ourselves and others. We can move forward. We can make the decisions we’re facing today and all the ones to come.
We’re sharing these thoughts around decision making today because as organizers and helpers, we so often find ourselves in your homes—hearing your stories and sitting in the midst of decisions with you. We are in no way the experts or professionals when it comes to the complex questions life brings us, but we are so honored to be trusted and welcomed into your lives and hear your stories. It’s our hope that our presence (online and in your homes) can help to free you up to do more of what you love as you reclaim your home through simplicity, organization and thoughtful design.