What's with all the pressure to be organized??

If you keep up with blogs, or honestly, any form of social media, you've probably observed this obsession with being organized that has surfaced over the past few years.

Let's talk about this trend.

If I'm being honest, all of the lovely pictures that grace the pages of magazines, Instagram streams, and blog posts make me swoon. They also make me less content with that I currently have and how my home currently looks. I often feel frustrated when I see the perfectly color coordinated kids rooms, the toys that are set exactly 3 inches apart from each other lining a shelf, the immaculately folded linens in a closet--these things are not realistic for me. I totally understand wanting a well designed and well organized home and the desire for things to look nice. What I do want to acknowledge is that I am a professional organizer, and my home will never look like those pictures unless I've specifically staged it for pictures (which would last all of about 30 minutes).

What I've been thinking about and trying to embrace lately is that being organized means different things to different people. The value of being organized is different for every person. I know for myself that if my house feels out of order, I feel distracted and overwhelmed--but my definition of "out of order" is not the same as everyone else’s definition. For example, I like for things to generally have a designated place, I like having clean surfaces, I don't like to store much on my counters, and I like things to be contained. Some people love to have lots of things on every shelf, and that's totally fine. For many, that doesn't feel disorganized or overwhelming at all. The truth is, we hope you never feel pressured by media, fashion, trends, friends, or family to become a version of "organized" that doesn’t work for you.

You may have noticed that many of our “before and afters” do not feature “after” pictures that look perfect- this is purposeful. Many of our clients are looking for practical help, things that can easily be maintained. Sometimes we complete a job where our client really values uniformity and a more picturesque final product, and we are happy to provide that result, but we never want to leave a client with something that doesn't feel realistic to their every day life. We realized that organization looks different for each person and we want to customize our work in a way that leaves each client feeling good about moving forward and maintaining their newly achieved order.

We love to help people who feel overwhelmed by their belongings, who want to let go, have the desire to purge, rearrange, re-invision their space etc. We've found that a very real sense of relief often comes when you purge and get more organized. Our greatest desire is that you feel content and able to enjoy your space without feeling burdened by it!

goodbye shame

There is one thing that is sure to keep all of us right where we are today and to keep us from any forward motion in our lives. It's shame. 

Inspirational image via @brilamberson 

There is nothing productive about shame. It keeps you hidden, stuck, embarrassed, and far from opportunity and growth. So many people we know: our neighbors, family members and friends can easily get caught in house-shame. Here are some lies that shame would have us to believe: Your home isn't as beautifully decorated as it should be, your kids rooms are too messy to invite friends over, you could never host a dinner or party in your space, people would not respect you if they saw inside your house, there is no hope for people like you... I'm sure we could each rattle off many more lies that shame tries to keep us trapped in. Shame tries to put all the weight on our weaknesses. 

Spoiler alert - it's all lies. Shame is just a big lie. No matter how chaotic your calendar, closet, garage, purse, or your work desk is... it can change. (Insert hope!) Remember, we own our things, they do not have power to own us. It's time to make a power play and return power to the rightful owner- you! You have the capacity and ability to make things different. Little by little, progress is possible. Getting started is usually the most difficult part- it takes some serious courage and here are two other things that will be key to moving out of shame and into action. 

Inspirational image via @lisaclowstudio

Inspirational image via @azford 

A humble perspective will go a long way when you decide to tackle an overwhelming task. Your "whole house" is a daunting and unrealistic goal for today. Small steps and little actions can snow ball into a great wave of order and organization in your life. Just pace yourself! Forgive yourself when certain areas or projects take longer than you intended. Make small goals and celebrate the completion of each one, they really do each matter. 

Inspirational image via @thenester

A kind friend is one of the greatest tools to bring with you on your journey from being stuck to making progress. Someone who will speak truthfully and also be sensitive to your emotions in a process like purging is so helpful. Look for these valuable qualities in a friend: someone who is able to laugh at unexpected finds, willing to grieve with you over painful memories, not afraid to remind you how many pairs of toe socks you already have. There is something magical about walking through a challenge with a dear friend - it eases the load and makes it a little more bearable. Accountability for keeping up with your journey to freedom from disorganization is another reason to bring a friend along. You aren't alone with your shameful thoughts, you have an ally to work through your thoughts with. 

It is one of the greatest joys we experience with our HYD clients when we see the weight of shame lifted as they start to see hope in their situation. We get to bring practicality, a plan and fresh perspective to places that are sources of stress and frustration for our clients. We carry hope and creative organizational ideas into closets, rooms, homes and workspaces that disorganization previously claimed. 

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Challenge yourself today to identify an area of your home that brings up shame and create one small goal to accomplish this week. You can do it. Shame is a liar and you are capable. And if you want professional help, we would be humbled to walk alongside you on your journey to organization. 

six changes you can make to feel less stressed

Have you ever come home from a stressful day of work and needed to escape? Maybe you already stay home and need a space to feel at ease. We've got six changes you can make within your home to help you de-stress. 

1. Add Plants: 

Decorating with plants not only adds life and freshness into your home, but by bringing nature inside, you will instantly feel a since of calmness. For Air-Filtering plants, be sure to check out this post!

2. Let More Natural Light In

By opening up your curtains, you are letting more Vitamin D into your home. Vitamin D aids in a stronger immune system and is proven to make you happier. Cozy, warm rooms can be calming, but when you need a 'pick-me up',  be sure to let some light flood in.

3. Add in Calming Colors

Colors such as blue, violet, pink, and green are known to help calm your mind. Whether you choose to paint your walls a calming color, or simply add in art or accessories, these colors are sure to sooth your mind and create a since of calmness within your home.

4. Create an area of Peace

From answering e-mails after hours to checking off a to-do list, your mind is constantly running. To create an area of peace, pick at least one place inside your home that you set aside for only non work related activities. Your brain needs a space where work isn't done so it knows to shut down and relax. 

5. Get Rid of Clutter

Easier said than done! Luckily, you have HYD to help you with this task. Getting rid of physical clutter also rids your mind of clutter. Taking time to put things away and clearing your space will help put your mind at ease and make your home feel more put together. 

6. Put away the Electronics

Scrolling through social media may ease your mind for a short time, but it is also known for making you feel more anxious and depressed. Give your eyes a rest by mediating, tending to your home and/or garden, going for a walk, or taking a bath. The list is endless if you'll only put your phone away, shut the TV off, and explore what's beyond your doorway.

Today, grace.

It's Thursday.
HYD would love to share a tidbit of organizing wonder or a story filled with real life goodness.

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Image by: Watercolor Devo

But, instead... you're getting a confession. It's too-late o'clock and my body and brain are ready to call it quits. I started to dig down deep and pull together something worth reading, but my dear husband suggested I give our readers the truth instead. He's real smart like that.

First of all, my season is one I wouldn't trade for the world. I've got a three school-age, active, healthy, fun-loving, tree climbing, soccer ball kickin', musical, gymnastic-ing, fort-building, craft making, treasure collecting, sleepover having kids. My minivan tears up the K-town roads like you wouldn't believe. Many days it's full of kids until 8am, then discarded items from clients until 3pm, then kids again until the last lesson, practice, meeting, or carpool drop-off has finished.

I mean that too about not wanting to trade this season for anything. I truly do love watching these kiddos grow into their own unique individuals. I thank God I get to be present for so much of it. And with that, I say thank you for the grace to let this be HYD's post for the week. The last couple of weeks have been so full of kids and clients, that my time at my computer just didn't happen.

I also want to extend that same grace to you today. You're off the hook. Real life happens. And the good news is, there's always tomorrow. 

Letting Go of the Sippy Cup

Sometimes we just don't see it coming. Life brings changes we never dreamed of. The changes can be full of hope and excitement with so many opportunities and possibilities in front us. Other times, these changes can be the opposite. The loss of a dream, a relationship, or even a life.

Recently, HYD had the great privilege of walking alongside a loving mama named Leanne who had to say goodbye to her baby son. Leanne also happens to be a dear childhood friend of mine. November 14, 2012, Baby Drew entered this world as a mighty warrior fighting for life from day one, 8 months later, he "passed peacefully from parent's arms into the arms of Jesus." I won't begin to share with you the journey this was for my friend & her family, you can only imagine. God never left their side, but the pain endured and the loss they continue to feel matches nothing I've ever known. If you're interested in reading more, here is the CaringBridge journal.

What I do want to share is what life is like two years later, when the room in their house that was to be Drew's still sits waiting for him to come home from the NICU at Vanderbilt that he never left. Drew's mama has tried for months to redo the room, find new purpose for it, and let go of some of Drew's baby gear that he'll never get to use. There are so many emotions attached to these items.

When we lose something precious, our grief process may have some similarities to others but truly it is always our own process. Drew's mom has clung desperately to her faith, her family, and her friends. Leanne's transparency through this journey has been immeasurable. It has also allowed countless others to confess the hard, ask for help, and find healing through inviting others to share their own burdens.

In this season, after all the CaringBridge readers are gone, the sympathy cards and casseroles don't come any longer, and most people think her family ought to be "back to normal," Drew's mom knows that the healing will never be full until she holds her boy again in Eternity. Until then, there's a room in her home that needs new life. This is where Help You Dwell comes in.

Leanne knew it was time. She was ready. She called and said she didn't know where to start.

Caroline and I got there at 10:30am and by 2pm, Drew's room was well on it's way to be a guest and family craft room for both she and her 9 year old son, Nate. 

The process was wonderful and hard at the same time. Drew's mom got to sift through some of the thoughtful, handmade gifts she's received along the way. HYD helped her make decisions about how to donate certain items and how to discard others. One of the hardest items to let go of were the sippy cups she had saved for him. Any of you who've had the blessing of multiple children have saved items from your older kids that the younger ones can use. This bag of sippy cups had been Nate's. All the other items she had saved could be donated or given to a friend to use, but sippy cups aren't really items to share with others. You really just use them for your own kids so she knew they would just have to go in the trash. It's amazing how so much of a person can be wrapped up in an object.

Listening, waiting, and gently encouraging her to let go of the bag of cups wasn't easy but it was good. She would agree. We moved on to the next items and by 2pm, the room was transformed into a place that allowed her to see all kinds of possibilities.

In closing, I want to also share a little of my friend's experience having Help You Dwell enter into this intimate & sensitive place to walk alongside her in this journey.  Upon writing this blog, I shared it with her before posting & she responded with her journal entry just after we had come. Here is an excerpt she gave me permission to share...

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Yesterday, Taryn and Caroline came and helped me declutter Drew's room. It was an amazing, productive, and heart wrenching time. It felt like forever, but it was 4 hours. Funny how you lose a sense of time when you're in that kind of space. (at one point, I commented that cleaning out spaces seems to go a lot faster on HGTV) I was so anxious leading up to our time and asked so many to pray for that time. God was faithful to be there. He gave me a willing spirit to get rid of stuff and to stay on task. He also blessed me with 2 precious sisters to walk with me in this process. What a gift!!

Several times since they left, I have gone into Drew's room and just enjoyed the space. It's open and mostly organized. (there are still boxes to go through, but they are in the basement and out of sight... this could be dangerous. You know, out of sight. Out of mind.) I love the space and the reward of having purged so much stuff yesterday. However, I know the room isn't finished. We began the day yesterday discussing what the space should be. I LOVE, LOVE that Help You Dwell's goal is to make spaces functional and to bring purpose to a room.

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Caroline and I know that when we enter someone's home or even workspace, we often come across the parts of our clients' spaces that stay hidden. We expect to hear stories although they're never required. And always, there is no judgement on our part. We expect a mess, that's why you called us in the first place. 

Taryn, Leanne, Caroline